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A Friend In Need Ezine |
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Humility, Humor, and Humanity
"Angels fly because they can take themselves lightly." G. K. Chesterton
Tales Of Two Painters
The early years of the great painter Paul Cezanne were difficult and his career was, from the very start, troubled with frequent rejection and failure. His family considered him peculiar and were unsupportive of his art.
After much family turmoil in his younger years, his father gave him a small allowance and he left for Paris where he worked alone and ignored.
Another painter Camille Pissarro became his mentor both lending him moral support, and influencing his palette. Cezanne, in a relatively short time period, switched from dark tones to bright colors.
Cezanne produced beautiful works as an unknown painter for many, many years. His commitment to, and passion for, his art was strong and unwavering and he did not strive for fame or even lesser recognition.
One day, a French art dealer happened to see the masterpieces of Cezanne. He was so impressed that he collected several of the paintings and arranged an exhibition in his gallery. Visitors to the dealer’s gallery were stunned as they saw for the first time the works of the unknown master.
The story goes that Cezanne arrived at the gallery and was also stunned. He had never before seen his work featured and admired this way. He walked around looking at his paintings, leaning on his son for support. Slowly he turned his head and looked at his son in surprise and awe. Cezanne then said, "They have put them in frames!"
And the second painter story: Picasso was being interviewed by an inexperienced critic. The critic asked why Picasso did not paint things to look as they actually do.
"I am not sure what you mean," Picasso replied.
The critic took a photo of his wife out of his wallet and showed it to Picasso saying, "Like this. This is how she really looks."
Picasso looked at the photo and said, "She’s quite small. And rather flat."
Humming Along
Two of the excellent "hum" words are illustrated by these stories -- humility and humor. Humility and humor are interconnected. One sure way to see their relationship is the I Can Laugh Now phenomenon.
Have you ever had something happen to you that seemed awful at the time but now, as you look back at it, you say, "I can laugh now . . ." The time between the supposed awful event and the I Can Laugh Now is much shorter for a person with a good sense of humor than for those living in the Drama Zone.
People with a sense of humor can watch themselves and laugh at their own trials and tribulations. They have humility. Because they can laugh, they have hope for themselves, others and our often crazy world.
The deadly serious people in the Drama Zone, the ones who almost never say, "I can laugh now . . ", often have no hope and thus may not honor the glorious strength of humanity -- the human spirit. Humility, humor, humanity -- wonderful, hmm?
And Today . . .
Today make yourself an I CAN LAUGH NOW notebook. Write down all the stories of your times of trial and tribulation about which this day you say, "I can laugh now . . ." Add to it as the days go by. Laugh as you write. Remember how good laughter is for you and laugh some more.
Shorten the time between trying events and "I can laugh now . . ." so your book of stories can grow faster. When you shorten the time, your sense of humor will grow, too.
Tell your stories to others, lots of others, and you can bet they will laugh with you. Some of the best humor comes from I Can Laugh Now stories. Your I CAN LAUGH NOW notebook will be a gift to yourself and to other people in your life. Can you hear the giggles now?
And can you feel your angel wings sprouting as you take yourself lightly?
Stephanie West Allen, JD, is the author of _24 7 This! The Merry Method To Accelerate Success_. Excerpts at http://www.allen-nichols.com/success.cfm She coaches people in using the two Merry Maxims, WYTUG (What You Think Upon Grows) and LULU (Loosen Up, Lighten Up), to achieve health, wealth, creativity, and harmonized relationships. Contact her at mailto:Stephanie@allen-nichols.com |
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Pain, Anger, Fear - A Way Out!
Life goes like this:
You were born as a beautiful baby, overwhelmed with love.
When you felt hungry, wet or lonely, you opened your mouth and cried out your pain and frustration.
You were in love again.
You grow up and after awhile you discover that the love around you is not unconditional.
Sometimes the 'big ones' are tired, upset or angry.
And you scream...
Usually, you will immediately get what you want, and once again you smile.
You register this scenario in your mind as the following:
The big people certainly are happy with your smiles and laughter.
Your little brain register that as:
And then... one day it happens...
You don't get the chocolate you wanted.
You remember Fact Number 1 and get into your usual routine of screaming "I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!"
And this time, instead of chocolate, you get this:
"STOP CRYING!!!"
OOPS... Something is terribly wrong!
Sometimes the reaction would be something like:
You look at the big person in front of you and you realize, "this is serious!"
Fear comes into your life - big time!
You are so small, they are so big.
Now you're looking for a way to survive.
If Fact Number 2 was registered enough times you realize that all you have to do is to be nice, do what they want, and everything will be OK.
If Fact Number 2 wasn't registered so strong, you try to fight back with the 'Trouble Maker' or the 'Rebel' act.
As a child you choose your act and follow it daily, until it becomes part of you.
And when you reach adolescence you already fixated on one of these primary feelings: Pain, Anger or Fear.
Either you mainly operate out of pain (or the fear of pain);
None of these modes of operation creates a joyful, loving, fulfilling life.
When your main mode of operation is out of pain or fear, you become the 'Nice Guy' or the 'Pleaser'.
However, this is just an act.
Usually, I don't trust people who say they never feel anger.
I won't forget this young guy that entered one morning to McDonald's and shot to death 16 people.
Since he never allowed his anger to be there, he never released it.
When your main mode of operation is out of anger, you become the 'Aggressor' or the 'Intimidator'.
Underneath there's a lot of fear and pain of rejection and loneliness.
I'm sure you can recognize yourself as the 'Pleaser', the 'Nice Guy', the 'Aggressor' or the 'Intimidator'.
Whatever your act is, you must realize that underneath it, there is unfulfilled hunger for love.
When you become aware of that, you can slowly drop the 'childish' act and respond in a more mature way.
When somebody hurts you, instead of swallowing it, pretending you're 'cool', or hurting the other back, why don't you try another approach:
What you'll create for yourself will be higher self-esteem, increased self-confidence, better health, and more trust in yourself and in others.
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Proactive Spiritual
Thinking Guarantees a Happy and Abundant Life The more I learn, the more I discover there is more to learn. Like most teenagers graduating from high school, I felt as if I knew it all. When I completed graduate school I was smart enough to realize that I had just begun to learn. But now, each new thing that I learn is like climbing to the top of a peak, only to discover there are other, even higher peaks. Happy are those who've learned that the world extends beyond their own comprehension, and enjoy the discovery of each new thing. Such people are proactive thinkers and nothing will be impossible to them. Being proactive has five essential elements: future thinking, positive thinking, intelligent thinking, systems thinking, and spiritual thinking. The people who practice all five are those who become the happiest and enjoy true success and abundance. 'Spiritual thinking' is knowing that our existence extends beyond the physical world and infinitely through space and time. And it's knowing there is an infinite being, whom most call God, who created the physical world, and who has no limit to His knowledge, faith, hope, and ability to love. Thomas Edison was a spiritual thinker. He knew that a Creator of infinite intelligence designed the universe for he reasoned its complexity and precision was far beyond human comprehension. He believed that knowledge would be given to him if he kept asking for it, and each successful invention increased his faith. Mr. Edison had hope for a better future, knowing that everything was designed by the Creator to bring about our contentment. He loved and respected all people and it was reported of him that he never had an unkind word to say about anybody. The following 3 proactive tips will help you to understand and practice spiritual thinking so you too can connect with the unlimited powers of the universe and enjoy the abundant life that was meant for you. Tip 1 - Use Applied Faith In All You Do Faith extends far beyond religious ceremony. Napoleon Hill, the founder of the science of personal achievement, documented that applied faith was a common trait to all highly successful people. Faith was part of their everyday lives and they used it to achieve their dreams and goals. Unsuccessful people let doubt and unbelief control their lives. They lack faith in themselves and become unsteady, tentative, and insecure in their pursuit of goals. You too can achieve great things when you believe that there is a source of infinite intelligence who rewards your genuine and persistent search for knowledge. When you believe you can learn all that you need to know to achieve any goal, and then act on your belief, your applied faith will be rewarded with success. Tip 2 - Spread Hope With A Positive Mental Attitude Hope is a unique attitude that can only be expressed by positive people who look forward to a better future. Your life will be more abundant and fulfilling when you remove negative thinking from your mind and trust infinite intelligence more and more. When you connect with the resources of the spiritual world, you remove limitations to your potential and you spread hope to others by being an example. Hope gives you and other people the ability to enjoy abundance and to overcome great obstacles. You are the one solely responsible for choosing your mental attitude, so having hope for a better future is ultimately a choice you make. Tip 3 - Show Love By Saying "I Believe In You" You are unique in so many ways; no one will ever be quite like you. However, one thing that you have in common with everyone else is the need to feel needed and loved. It's a desire given to all. Likewise we all have different purposes for living and unique talents to fulfill our purposes. However, there's one purpose that we all have in common and that is showing love to others and helping them to feel important. You have the talent to express your love for another person by saying, "I believe in you." Nearly 100% of the heartaches, problems, and disappointments that we experience in this world are caused by people failing to perform their purposes in life, especially showing love to one another. You can avoid most problems in life doing your part to fulfill your purpose and show your love by believing in the abilities and encouraging them to be the best they can be. Remember these 3 proactive tips and proactively practice spiritual thinking by using applied faith in all you do, spreading hope, and showing love to others. When you do you will tap into unseen powers that guarantee a happy and abundant life.
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The Fall of Life As winter silently approaches, tip toeing in the distance, under each stride the crushing sound of golden red leaves will awaken within so many hearts the beginning of the fall of their life. Standing alone at this juncture of life the mind will race to ponder over so many passed years and it will be time to reflect on and renew plans.
Many will experience a mid-life crisis or menopause and life may suddenly seem like coming to a close. Deep sorrow is felt at seeing so many years of youth go by whilst not realizing that time ebbs and the tide of life and years inevitably rise.
That wonderful gift of simply being young is taken for granted ... when the world seems too small for the gusto of life which flows with such strength that we want to explore all. In its path so many mistakes are made, opportunities missed and we gain or lose in the battle of life what we cannot forget.
So many will look back at all they did and all they missed doing. Chapter after chapter reviewed and closed. Others desperately attempt to recapture all the wonders of youth through new romances, another marriage, a new business, a holiday, a new vocation. And then there are those who will face ill health, loss of wealth and feelings of helplessness that will overwhelm them.
No matter who it is life does not always turn out as planned.
Some will say that life and destiny are predetermined paths, mapped out by our karmas. Some will wonder why their approach in life did not find the right takers or the right responses. What would they change if they could relive the past? Some may say given a path they did not create but simply walked on and the people and circumstances they encountered and the patterns of their own nature, instrument in their dealings, would somehow bring the same results and they feel content that this is the life they had to lead thus far. Though they feel they have led life to its fullest or that their dreams are left half way or unrealized there will be more enlightenment that their share was done so far.
Regardless of the debates on scores of issues there will be still more battles to fight, as long as life goes on. To leave behind the comfort zone of absolute youth, strength and vitality, one must be able to find equal value in the next phase of life to continue. The mind wonders after all as to the purpose of this life and what did we actually come here for. If life is a stage, then this transitory period right in the middle of Act 3 Scene 3 is probably the most crucial period of ones life.
It is important to know now more than ever what we want out of life. It is a completely new phase and we have to begin to prepare for the now and the future. Though one may feel that surely some things have changed about them, even if that is that they tire physically more easily, they will surely know that they are more confident of themselves than ever before and more ready to accept failure and success as a part of growing. Laurels and accolades will not have the same meaning, rather the purpose of action and its fruition will hold their interest.
As the nature of man is to continuously explore, the mind will find new venues and new meaning to life. In the east, this period of life is understood as the time to consolidate, contribute in the community through service, delve in seeking God and the higher meaning of life and still keep family commitments and share wisdom with those who are willing to listen.
Life renews itself with new nuances to explore new horizons all a part of this school of life, and so will continue the journey in new directions.
The truth of the matter is that each person will have to deal with the issues at hand with their own personal wisdom and personal needs. They will have to make the best of the present opportunities before once again the tide of time will begin to lapse and once again lost time and opportunity will be mourned.
Frankly speaking there are no bonuses in life for overlooking ourselves or shelving our dreams or aspirations. The fact that life is precious is a factor that is constantly reinforced in us as it is so easy to forget its value. The most beautiful part of all this, is that one is still there to experience yet more of life and continue to make life to be, what we want it to be and especially at this juncture as now we are more experienced in self knowledge. If ever we really have the chance to do what we truly aspire to do is now.
How many times do we hear the sorrow of those who did not make a success of life, how many times do we hear of those who were successful but they felt they were constantly compromising to get what they earned and did not feel that they were in fact, really successful. How many times have we heard of those who did this or that to fulfill some one else's dream whether it be a parent, or their peers, institutions or for money?
Free from all those shackles one can begin to experience life in its purity and in complete earnestness of ones own making. It is not for any institution or person to say where you will be placed henceforth. Now more than ever before you will be forced to make your decisions find your goals follow your dreams. What is it to be?
Now is the time when memories will come flowing and show you how unique your life has been. How you met people and how you formed relationships. What you learnt from life, how you came closer to God. How you found the strength to survive a crucial moment. How you found your self in a world where it is so easy to forget your identity. Whom did you love? Who did you lose? How did you raise your children. The mistakes you made - the good things you did. This is such a vital part of rewriting your own history before it is too late to say what you really want to say. We realise that we may have been heard but few understood what was being said.
There will be times now when we will think - was I ever loved? was I ever needed? And you will be overwhelmed to find that you are still needed you are still loved as you continue to love. That the universe supports you and sustains you with love as long as you are needed and your work is not done.
This is the time you will need to take care of yourself in a special way. You will need to spend time with your own spirit, to thank and be grateful for what life has enriched you with or really let your heart out for the damages you could not repair or the wounds you could not heal. What work is not done that you would like to see completed, who are the people you want to say to that you love them, who are the people you want to say sorry to. Where do you want to go from here. Take action.
Remember that by taking action right now, you move, step by step, forward. Take a moment - get used to feeling your presence and why you must be the first person you must take care of. You are your first investment pay attention to you. This is the best investment you will ever have made and I your friend will be there to support you and listen to you through your next decision and the next phase.
If you have come so far you obviously want more in life than you have right now. Whenever there is a deep seated need, an opportunity presents itself and a door opens. Your need for that vital support has brought you here. Wash your woes away and see yourself restful and relaxed. Take the plunge towards your goal. The time for healing, searching and finding yourself is here. To take the first step all you have to do is register with "How To Conquer Loneliness" on A Friend In Need now.
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Transformation - it is all about questions Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the fewer friends you have, the fewer new things you experience, and the fewer risks you take? The result? Less ecstasy!
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